Can Love and Desire Live in the Same Room?

Mating in Captivity is a hot, hot book!  I had to fan myself a couple of times while reading it.  Not because there were any explicit sex scenes but because her ideas were so fresh and daring.  It gave me chills, I tell you!

I stumbled onto Esther Perel during a YouTube TED Talk binge.  After listening to her lecture for California Southern University,  I had to know more.  Thank God for libraries!

It is almost a given that sexual desire will decrease the longer a couple is together, even in warm and loving relationships. Research attributes this the effect of repeated exposure.  What if it weren’t that simple?  What if there were another dynamic at play? What if love and passion were, for some couples, inversely proportional?

Relationship Reboot

Every couple of years I take a week to look at my own life to reassess what is working and what isn’t.  I then compare what I am doing to what I say that I want do.   Sometimes the comparison highlights the areas that need adjustment.   This time I have traced where I am back to the relationships that I created.  I use the word created because relationships don’t just happen for me.  Of course, there is conscious creation and unconscious creation.

Who You Love is a Product of What You Think

You can’t choose who you love…because it’s dependent on how you think.  Yeah, I am making not so subtle allusions to the Law of Attraction theme.  If you don’t subscribe to the idea, move on to the next blog.  Hard facts…the average person has at least 4 major relationships before they make that final commitment.  Well, final is relative, right?

Even before you say I do, you have an ideal person that you think will make all of your dreams come true.  Then you measure each date against that mental yardstick, tossing away those that don’t measure up, but it is your thoughts that draws in the pool of applicants.