Masters of Sex

Both of my parents were scientists. My dad, especially, used the scientific method as a lens for everything, including sex.  When I turned 12, he gave me “Everything You Want to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask”.  He said, “If you have any questions after you read it, let’s talk.” 
Now, don’t get too excited.  He is the same man who explained at the dinner table that the penis is like a straw and therefore, oral and anal sex should be avoided because the human mouth and anus are full of bacteria.  That gave me whole new window into his view of married sex.  Needless to say, we are influenced by our parents’ beliefs about sex, both positively and negatively.

An enterprising surgeon and his research assistant, Masters and Johnson, embarked on a decades long inquiry into sexual expression.  Our society has been greatly influenced by their findings published in "Human Sexual Response” and “Human Sexual Inadequacy”.  Before these publications, many people had no clear understanding how sexuality and arousal worked.  Before Masters and Johnson, people often relied on trial and error, many staying in unsatisfying relationships or leaving relationships due sexual incompatibility.

Thomas Maier’s "Master of Sex" examines their research and their partnership, now a series on Showtime.  He takes us through Dr. Masters’ and Virginia Johnson’s evolution.  The book is a great read! The descriptions about their personalities are rich and elucidate how each of them contributed to the research.  We watch as their roles change over time; Masters leading in the beginning until their research turned to therapy, where Johnson dominates.  It is surprising how little love is mentioned in connection with Masters and Johnson’s multi-year affair and eventual marriage.   When Masters was asked about love by a reporter, he responded with, “What is that?  I don’t know what that is."

We are a science-loving nation.  We need data to choose a toothpaste. This is neither bad nor good, but data is only part of the story.  Our perceptions about sex can interfere with the sexual experience.  This has been documented by many researchers and authors.  Have you  faked orgasms or worse have never had one?  Do you think oral sex is dirty?  And where do our perceptions come from?  If I had listened to my dad, sex would be pretty limited.  (He didn’t talk about positions, thank goodness!)  Without knowing it, he gave me an ambivalent view on sex, presenting me with all of the options in a book, only to make judgement statements on what constituted proper sexual conduct.

Thankfully, he also taught me to test and question everything, to experiment and come to my own conclusions.  I encourage all people that are sexually active to do the same.   Here are some questions to get you started.  Are you satisfied with your sexual frequency and intensity? If not, what are you going to do about it?