The Hazards of Being Nice

People pleasing will either kill you or make you wish you were dead.  It creeps up on you quick because we are taught early to be kind and helpful to our fellow man.  Parents taught us to share our toys with other children  for the obvious reasons.  

My upbringing was no different, but somewhere along the way I crossed the line, confusing kindness with codependency.  Codependency is a coping mechanism for the “I am not enough” syndrome.  Do you know anyone goes out of their way to do stuff for people even when those same people are perfectly capable of doing stuff for themselves?

Dating From the Inside Out

Is finding love on your top 10 for 2016?  I have the book for you, due out on January 1, 2016!  Wired for Dating is Stan Tatkin’s, PSYD, MFT, great follow-up to Wired for Love.

The inside-out approach or “psychobiological approach” gives you the whys driving romantic relationships and how to use this information to create “secure” relationships.  Tatkin uses neuroscience and attachment theory to show how our biology and attachment style facilitate attraction, but can lead us to make impulsive buying decisions.

Intent Doesn’t Always Make Things Right

I have always had an iffy relationship with my mom.  She is a great mom, but we have a personality mismatch.  The other day, I was trying out one of the exercises in Wired for Love, where you imagine the person that you ran to when you were little.  I don’t remember who I ran to, but I doubt it was my mother.  She doesn’t do comfort well.  Maybe that is why I am so good at it.

OMG, I Am So Bored In This Relationship!

It is inevitable, like death and taxes.  Sooner or later you are going to get bored with your spouse.  Who knows?  If you are reading this, maybe you already are.